Building a healthy relationship with yourself and with others


I’ve met people who are drifting through life just trying to get from one payday to the next or just trying to make it from one day to the next. Their purpose in life is summed up with one word, “survival!”

I heard this question asked once, “If you were a plant, would you be growing, flourishing, and resilient in a drought or would you wither and barely get by when nature’s circumstances stray from the ideal?” Surviving means, “to continue to live or exist,” while thrive can be defined as “to grow or develop well, to prosper or to flourish.”

Many people say they want to thrive in life, but they are often just surviving. Perhaps it’s the fear of the unknown that prevents them from truly moving forward in life.  I read somewhere that surviving is the cousin of PTSD. “Survival Mode is a like a cousin of PTSD in that it results from trauma –likely long-term trauma or sometimes traumas that happened consistently for a short amount of time. It can also be from traumas that happened in a pattern, so they created a sense of a new confirmed reality in your person. In other words, traumatic experience/s that changed the way you defined your world.”

Here are some signs you’re living in survival mode

  • You are more reactive than proactive
  • You blame circumstances or others or find excuses when things go wrong.
  • You feel there is never enough to go around.
  • You see failure as the end-result of things gone wrong.
  • Change scares you.
  • Everything is urgent. The deadline is now. Your back is up against the wall.
  • The stress is overwhelming.
  • Your sleep is disrupted.
  • There’s no joy. Your goal is to avoid having a terrible day. Having a great day isn’t an option.
  • You don’t eat properly.
  • You rush around like crazy but never get caught up.
  • You can’t remember the last time you laughed and enjoyed a day.

12 ways to move from surviving to thriving

  • Take time in the morning to find your center and set intentions for the day
  • Consistently let go of expectations
  • Be mindful of complaining too much
  • Occasionally detox from TV, social media, and technology
  • Show your appreciation for the people who support you
  • Practice gratitude
  • Do something you’ve never done before
  • Set goals and take daily action to make them happen
  • Create a personal mantra
  • Embrace alone time
  • Seek out the good in the situation
  • Find your purpose

To thrive is a choice. It’s an attitude, and your ability to thrive is deeply connected to the actions you take on a daily basis and the belief system you embrace. It’s time to move from a survival mindset to a thriving mindset.

 

 

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