Building a healthy relationship with yourself and with others

You missed the sacrifice


Sacrifice is defined as something given up. Often when people hear the word sacrifice, they see it as a negative connotation. But sacrifice really means to give up something to gain something greater or better. Ask yourself two questions: (1) What is it I really want in my life and (2) What am I willing to sacrifice to get it? I read somewhere, “That valuable item you seek will cost you dearly. You’ll have to let go of something you already value in order to pursue it.”

Most of us get stuck on “You’ll have to let go of something you already value in order to pursue.” You want to lose weight, well, you have to give up those cookies you value.  You want to be more financially stable, well, you have to give up your love for shopping. You want to start a side business, well, you must give up sitting in front of the TV for hours at a time watching your favorite TV shows. You want a job that is better aligned with what you are passionate about, well, you have to give up that nice commute or great schedule. You want the love of your life, well, you have to give up what you’ve told yourself a great love relationship looks like.

I saw a quote on Instagram that said, “A rich man buying you something doesn’t mean anything, but a busy man giving you his time means everything.” A rich man buying you a gift is not a sacrifice – in his mind, he can always make more money, or he has plenty of it, so to spend it on you is no big deal, but a man who is busy who makes the sacrifice in his schedule to spend time with you means something. Time is non-refundable.  For a busy person, time is probably that thing he or she values the most, so to give up something they value says something.

“Give Up to Go Up” when I first heard that expression, I didn’t fully understand it, but I get it now. I have to give up some things to go to the next level.  I have to give up those fears I’ve held on to forever because they were like Linus’s blanket (Charlie Brown). My fears are my comfort zone. I was not comfortable with being uncomfortable.  The lies I told myself…I needed to give up.  The “wisdom” that was passed on to me from people who were not wise in the areas in which they spoke, but I took it as “The Gospel” because of the position they held in my life, I had to give up.  The plan I had for my life, I had to give up. I had to learn to be led instead of leading. I had to give up the belief that when something bad happened in a relationship that I thought was my last relationship, but it didn’t turn out that way, that my purpose was to teach them something about themselves and realize that in some instances, it was for the relationship to teach me something about me, something that will make me better as an individual as a mate.

Back to the two questions I asked you in the beginning. Ask yourself, (1) What is it I really want in my life and (2) What am I willing to sacrifice to get it?  “One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it.” ~ Sidney Howard

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