Building a healthy relationship with yourself and with others


When you’re in the office on Monday morning, many people will ask you how was your weekend. You respond and then they usually have a follow-up question, “What did you do?” I don’t know why, but the “what did you do” tends to annoy me. Perhaps it’s because there is an expectation that someone has to always do something. Has society programmed us that life has to be filled with constantly doing?

Yes, I am one whose life is, from time-to-time, filled with activities, but I am also someone who has learned to appreciate REST – those moments when I am doing absolutely nothing, and if I am lucky, my mind also gets to rest (which, by the way is a rarity). I started to notice that over the last couple of weeks, I was short-tempered, easily irritated, and the introverted side to me had taken over. Why? Possibly because I wasn’t getting enough rest, not physical rest, but mental rest.

Rest is also so the ability to take a mental break from everything and everybody. If you are like me, you have people constantly pulling on you or dumping on you – co-workers, family members, and friends.  It becomes a bit too much. You get tired of hearing people complain about work, complain about finances, complain about relationships, complain about life…complain, complain, complain. If these are people you care about, their burdens become your burdens. You want the best for them, but at the same time, you realize that in order for their complaining to stop, they have to want what’s best for them.  If the people in your life don’t care enough about you to stop making you their dumping ground, you have to care enough about you to stop allowing them to dump on you.

It doesn’t make you a bad person if you choose your own peace of mind over other people’s problems.  I will share something I often say, “You are the ONLY person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with.” Do what’s best for you and don’t feel guilty about it.  Physical and mental rest are good for the soul. It provides you with the opportunity to relax, energize, slumber, and take a timeout.

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