Building a healthy relationship with yourself and with others


During church service this morning, the pastor said, “God’s spirit will speak to you and give you a calmness about a decision.” As I was pondering over those words, I had a moment of reflection.  For the last two months, I have been dealing with a situation that I allowed to take me from a state of peacefulness and tranquil to a place of discontent, stress, and at times, anxiety.  This situation had started to consume me. The more I allowed this situation to affect my peace of mind, the worse it got. Then one day it hit me, the more life I give to this situation, the more it starts to take on a life of its own. I had to do a couple of things: (1) Ask myself if I had played a role in creating this situation. Once I assessed, I realized my actions had not done anything wrong, but my thoughts had.  I expected the worse; therefore, I got the worse; (2) Acceptance. I had to accept that I don’t have control over other people’s actions or perceptions, I only have control over me.  One of the hardest things to accept is that no matter how fair you are to people, how nice you are to people, how much you try to help people, and live a life of good example, there will always be people who don’t like you, don’t support you or want to see you fail JUST because; (3) After acceptance, I moved to a place of peace.  I made peace with it. It is so amazing how once you make peace with something, a spirit of calmness comes over you. Not only did I experience a spirit of calmness, I also experienced clarity. Once we get to a place of inner peace and calmness, our outlook changes, our decisions change…we change. “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” ~ James Allen

Comments on: "“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” ~ James Allen" (2)

  1. Wow! It’s amazing how all of this hits home for me. Yesterday I was speaking with a friend about some of the things you mentioned in this blog. During our conversation I mentioned that I wanted people to think of me as a giving and loving person, so at times I go over board with trying to please people. But in return, I have people pulling at me and for some strange reason always in competition with me over small things. I just want to be left alone to mind my own business.

  2. …I turned 40 on Saturday and am learning this lesson as well.

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